Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the proper purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. Aristotle

There are many reasons for dishonesty. One attempt to protect one’s partner from the harsh reality of the other’s bad behaviour. Other causes include trying to look good, avoiding trouble and compulsive lying.By 1988 he found himself spending almost all of his time administering his clinics, and very little time doing what he enjoyed most -- improving his marital therapy program. So he began turning his clinics over to the counselors who worked with him, and the ownership of his last clinic was transferred in 1993. Since then, he has written 16 more books and hundreds of articles. I can't help it: every time I say or read the title of this book, it's always to the tune of Ghostbusters. Unless you protect each other from your destructive instincts and habits, you will hurt each other so much that eventually your Love Bank accounts will be deep into the red — you will hate each other. Before you complete these questionnaires, you should be familiar with the description of Love Busters.

Dishonesty may “numb” some of our pain, but it compounds it later. The truth usually comes out eventually. The time of hiding the truth creates an emotional barrier and destroys trust. Solution Acts of anger include ridicule, sarcasm, punishment, threatening or physical violence. There is nothing to gain from rage. Solution To create and sustain compatibility, you must practise radical honesty. It would be best if you came clean about your personal history, daily activities and plans for the future. Communicating your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, and dislikes is advisable. When was the last time your spouse did something that annoyed you? Annoying habits don’t seem all that important — but they still drive us crazy! But when our behaviour annoys others, we tend to downplay the whole problem. But how should you change your habits, so they are no longer annoying? It begins with realising that your annoying habits are damaging your relationship. So first, tell each other that eliminating annoying habits is a high priority for both of you. And then ask each other what annoys you the most, write it down, and go to work with a plan to end whatever bad habits you find.Since Love Busters usually make you feel good while your spouse feels bad, the one best able to identify them is your spouse. Similarly, you are in the best position to identify your spouse's Love Busters. The results of these questionnaire will help you understand the pain and unhappiness that you and your spouse create in your marriage. When you cause each other emotional pain, you not only withdraw love units, but you encourage each other to build emotional defenses that cause you to withdraw from each other. Those emotional defenses prevent you from depositing love units to make up for the loss. Disrespectful judgment is a way of presenting our problems as if they are our spouse’s faults. So we try to “straighten out” our partner to get our way. We attempt to convince ourselves that our opinion is superior to our spouse’s.

Love busters are habits that cause conflicts and loss of empathy in unions. Also, they are controlling and abusive practices, increasing divorce chances. Love buster 1: Selfish demands Disrespectful judgment occurs whenever we try to impose our beliefs on our spouses—for instance, our political views or conspiracy theories on our mates. Other forms of disrespectful judgment include giving lectures or ridiculing our mates. Also, talking too much or preventing others from speaking up is very rude. Independent behaviour is the conduct of one spouse that ignores the other’s feelings. It’s usually scheduled and requires some thought to executing. Examples include sporting events you attend or your exercise program. Solution Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. Louis K Anspacher A huge part of the book is merely so-so, giving out general advice (your relationship is like a love bank, you need to make more deposits than withdrawals), which has been around for a long time.We cannot love someone effectively until we know them well. That takes time and it also takes some focused attention and conscious effort. It’s more than just knowing what their favourite food is, or where they went to school. We need to know what their Love Needs and Love Busters are. Love Needs… At the end of the questionnaire, you are asked to rate the Love Busters according to the unhappiness they create. While all Love Busters should be eliminated, it makes sense to work on the most painful Love Busters first.

Annoying habits include personal mannerisms such as how you eat, how you talk or if you snore. Also, giving your partner the “silent” treatment or trying to win all arguments are wrong. SolutionDr. Harley earned a Ph.D. degree in psychology from the University of California at Santa Barbara in 1967 and has been a Licensed Psychologist in Minnesota since 1975. For the first ten years after earning his degree, he taught psychology at both the graduate and undergraduate levels. During those years, he was also a frustrated part-time marriage counselor with little success in helping couples.