The PDA Paradox: The Highs and Lows of My Life on a Little-Known Part of the Autism Spectrum

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Harry’s insights, wisdom and humor make it an enjoyable book. It reminds me a bit of the beatnik era books, as Harry is quite adventurous and was given many and desperate opportunities by his parents and also via his own sometimes outlandish choices such as his short-lived experiment with military school. I really enjoyed this book. It helps that my mind works in similar ways to Harry. I was able to follow his entertwining paths through various stories and ideas. If you like straightforward stories with few tangents, this book is not for you. If you like a simple vocabulary that doesn't require a dictionary, this book is not for you. Otherwise, do read on. I also find exercise extremely helpful in reducing impulsive urges – I never leave the house unless ive exercised first. Its been a hard battle for me as I have always been naturally avoidant of exercise, due to heightened sensory exp meaning its more uncomfortable – muscle/body pain more painful/heightened, + coordination, + autistic inertia. Autism and anxiety go hand in hand. Individuals with autism are living in an anxiety inducing world they are constantly trying to make sense of and fit into. What I'm trying to say is that, while it may be entertaining to read about a person deliberately destroying their own lives because they think they can't control themselves (although the author does state that by now he has some systems in place that help him stay safe, mindfulness and meditation being those mentioned), there is no real lesson learned here about PDA, about autism, about any way to manage either and to have a decent life (both for the person involved and those around). There's only a telling of the very stupid decisions of a teenager who could know better because he has the intellect and resources for it (and who, in any other setting, would have been held responsible for his own actions).

At its heart, it is the true story of someone who epitomised a certain sort of person that this country produced in the 19th century. There was a fantasy of chivalric empire, run by Britons who were gentlemen and played the game. Of course the reality was that our empire was no better than any other. We were busy conniving in the extermination of tribes, robbing natives of their land and we sent droves of brilliant young men, brought up with the chivalric fantasy, to enforce what was in many cases a visibly corrupt system [...] But Fitzroy's morality was iron. He said no. And it destroyed him. [11] Monitor your own communication for subtle demands — you’d be surprised just how many sneak into what we say, Thompson says. “How are you?” demands a specific response. “I love you” demands an “I love you too.” “What’s the plan for today?” demands productivity. He often chooses some infrequently used words when more common ones would do; e.g. lachrymose, adamantine, vicissitude; which read autodidact to me, or maybe Asperger. I have to wonder how someone less intelligent with the same underlying "kind of mind" would have made it through the kind of situations that Harry has had to live through. I also wonder if he has "aged out" of those meltdowns he documents. Aren't the late teens the age when males are statistically the most violent? Most of us, when we're born, experience the world as something we're eager to join. We don't question our culture or our gender but feel we belong in it, pushing away any doubts. Others, though we know it's the only game in town, remain hesitant or suspicious. I always imagined autism as an outright refusal, fleeing sensory input, rejecting even language, with the so-called treatments being ways to force it on the child "for their own good." Seen this way, all autism is PDAish. Harry Thompson, who can claim PDA among his diagnoses, tells us that it has a neurological basis and is independent of one's past experience. Nature not nurture. The demand to see it this way is one I am (pathologically?) resisting so I googled and found no compelling evidence but much cultural agreement. We want to leave behind the previous cultural agreement that Autism was caused by "refrigerator mothers" (i.e. bad nurture) but I am resistant to the demands of cultural agreements in general. I think Harry would understand this impulse of mine.In China, the UK, and the USA, one can get CoViD, but if you live in the UK, you can also be diagnosed with PDA which a USian cannot. What kind of disease is only available in select locations? Adults on the other hand are responsible for utilizing the resources they have access to and doing the best they can to limit damage when dysregulated. (Updating to clarify that I do understand that different adults have different levels of access to different resources, either because of social-economic factors or developmental disabilities)

Also, good article. I find writing lists extremely helpful – and keeping a small notebook on me. And refuse to buy outside of it or deviate from my plan otherwise the impulse control can be so problematic (I can just leave it for next time if not pre-decided – it eliminates stress of decision making on the spot in public) . What seems like a good idea when even mildly sensory overwhelmed is often not. HT: “A sense of ‘Am I in the wrong place?’ upon reaching the age at which I was old enough to question my place in the world.” A biographer and novelist, Thompson wrote six books: an investigation into the story of The Man in the Iron Mask; a biography of Hergé with a commentary on his Adventures of Tintin series; biographies of Peter Cook and Richard Ingrams; a novel, This Thing of Darkness; and the semi-autobiographical Penguins Stopped Play.Harry J. Thompson was born in Edgware and grew up in Barnet in north London. He is currently based in London, UK. An avid reader & researcher, Harry speaks publicly and is heavily involved in projects & research on all topics around neurodiversity and autism; namely, Pathological Demand Avoidance, a behavior profile within the Autism Spectrum. Harry's starting position was that broadcasters were fools who didn't know what they were talking about - and, on occasion, he was right. At key meetings he would say the wrong thing, or turn up late, or leave early, sometimes to play five-a-side football. It didn't matter, because he delivered. He had one or two eccentricities, such as carrying an umbrella in sunny weather. He could be brash and over-confident, but there were other sides to his character which his television colleagues rarely saw.