Don’t bullshit them when you don’t know something; encourage them to ask friends or family who might have a better answer. Chapter 2 Tools for Engaging Cooperation … Feelings Schmeelings, She Has to Brush Her Teeth-Getting kids to do what they have to do 43 Replace punishment with more peaceful solutions. The only consequences that you can really manage are logical ones which are subjective. Logic, math are human constructs. Punitive consequences aren’t viable in the working world because employees have choice.

billion stars. I love this book. I’ve read a lot of parenting books, and this is right up there with the most useful of them (probably first equal with Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting). Lots of the experts I’ve read pay homage to the How to Talk principles, but none explain it as clearly as this, with useful anecdotes and chapter summaries. Would you consider the audio edition of How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen to be better than the print version? Instead of a good job on getting your coat on, try “you kept on working on those buttons until they were in that little button hole.”If there is a dispute over who should have control over the remote, for example, don’t make the dispute something you can belittle because it’s important to the child. Joanna only advises punishment if it’s pretend punishment like putting one of her kids in pretend jail for a short amount of time, and the kid enjoys it (289). Oh yeah, like *that’s* going to motivate the kid to not be bad in the future? HA! Excellent performance from all the narrators and authors! Really enjoyable to listen and very informative. I'm still in progress to change how I'm with my kids along the advises from this book, but can say that after a week - loosely using the tools that are presented in the book - got some very positive changes. It can be hard to walk into a new house filled with relatives. Lots of people want to say hello to you. That can feel scary.” Turn a boring routine command into a playful challenge (49). I can see it working the first few times. But if you use it every time you want your kid to do something, the kid will likely tire of your game and stop playing. I tried it with getting my kid to eat: “Your food is saying ‘eat me!’” FAIL. The kid did not eat.

Tactics for handling shy kids: prepare the child for what to expect before meeting with new people; have the new people be playful with the child but not demanding; give the child tasks to do instead of pressuring her to be social; don’t label the kid as shy; say to the new people that the child will talk or play when ready (313-315). If a kid won’t say hi, ask the kid to wave instead (317). Instead of saying, “you spilled the milk” you can say “I really don’t like it when milk is spelt”. Instead of being accusatory towards the other person with “You”, you’re saying “I” have a problem with that this technique. This technique is universally effective wherever people are involved. Try it with your kids. Brainstorm solutions with them. Write down all the suggestions, even the ridiculous ones. Then eliminate the ones that definitely won’t work (“No, we can’t make your sister live in the basement”) until you can come up with a compromise. Investment in Your Family's Beyond immediate problem-solving, this book is an investment in the long-term well-being of your family. It equips parents with valuable skills to nurture positive parent-child relationships and effective communication. By promoting trust, empathy, and cooperation, it sets the stage for a loving and supportive family environment that will benefit everyone for years to come.It also had some life gems for me. Never really understood why I couldn't take praises when I was a child myself, but after listening the part about praises, now finally understood what mistakes most of us do when praising one and another. One of these is the biological need for recovery time. When we get angry, our bodies are flooded with hormones.” You want your kids to trust their emotions, so don’t give them a reason to doubt themselves. Why the carrot is making them freak out is much more important than how ridiculous it is that they’re freaking out in the first place. Punishment is a top-down system that demoralizes when what you really want is to enlighten and instruct.