For an enthusiastic and uncritical perspective by a “lifestyle writer” (I will not use the term “journalist” because that would be like saying Don Papa is a real rum) I direct you to this Forbes article from May 2017. It’s just another in a spate of recent rum-themed articles that are written by people who seem to want to advertise that they really know nothing at all about the subject. The nose is very familiar – huge wafts of raspberry flavoured bubblegum. Notes of sweet artificial saccharin. Cherry flavoured boiled sweets and a slight hint of some kind of spice trying to break out but its just overpowered by the artificial confected notes. Quoting Foursquare’s Richard Seale “The holy grail for the big multinationals is a product that can be mass produced but sold for a premium price - hence the need for vodka brands and gin brands in the portfolio.”

In the mouth: Sugar-bomb. There’s this lingering peppery texture that’s enveloped by an overwhelming sweetness. I get incoherent tastes of pineapples, pineapple skin, toffee, honey, caramel, Korean pears and honey. This also makes me think of the Juicy Fruit chewing gum. (For the sake of sentimentality, is it even still around?) Our panel – made up of 10-accredited spirits experts and rum-loving consumers – put 36 white and dark rums to the test, comparing the supermarket steals to the big-branded bottles.Nez : Profond et riche avec une impression de puissance. Marqué par des notes d'agrumes et de vanille. Unsurprisingly, the rum has an extremely sweet smell, which is representative of the sugar canes of Sugarlandia. A little further exploration will reveal some deep vanilla notes, which pair marvellously fruitier notes of coconut, mango, and banana. This trio of fruits lends the rum the exotic touch that is often so coveted in these types of drinks, in addition to showcasing why this rum is perfect for summer. And I said “rare YET important”, not “rare and important”… It makes quite a big difference. Once again, the issue with your article is that is doesn’t take the state of the market into consideration at all… Another worrying thing is this trend might discourage new and/or smaller rum producers from putting out quality rum. Instead it might persuade them into making these dishonest rums that cut corners. Afterall, starting small brands and/or distilleries to flip to larger companies has become a business model ever since craft distilling became more of a thing, especially in the US. Now imagine your future “premium” Diageo whisky brands having the possibility of being aged or finished in ex-Don Papa barrels. The horror. The waste.

It hails from Sugarlandia (I kid you not), Phillipines and Don Papa is a tribute to Papa Isio. His legend was instrumental to the independence of the island during the Revolution of the 1890s. The figure of Don Papa on the bottle is inspired by Papa Isio. Look, the truth is that this is industrially produced cane sugar/molasses-based (I'm being generous here) ethanol which has been gussied up with all manner of sweeteners, artificial flavours, colours and god knows what else (glycerol and vanillan at least, according to lab tests) to make it palatable -- and it isn't! Bad enough that they call it rum, but it commits an even greater sin than playing fast and loose with the truth -- it tastes bad! This is a rum produced from molasses and aged for 10 years in American oak barrels. Ex-bourbon barrels. If I get diagnosed with diabetes or if my palate gets ruined by this in the long run, can I ask 88 Bamboo to help with my recovery? The presentation and advertising and marketing of this rum is all about fancy bottle and label design, gorgeous visuals, and words to make you giddy with anticipation. It nails all aspects of those. Everything else is secondary, except the rum itself, which is tertiary.

Don Papa Rum Details

Just to set the stage: I honestly thought my amigo Henrik, in his savage takedown of the rum, was exaggerating his despite. However, intrigued, I begged him for samples to save me buying them, and he was prepared to gift me the whole bottle except that his luggage was already full of stuff he was bringing to Berlin (for me). And just to see if its claim to being a “premium aged small batch rum” held up, I tried the Don Papa 7 year old (and its brother the ten year old) four times: once with a flight of eight Jamaicans, then with a flight of seven Demeraras, a third time with a raft of agricoles and then with yet another one of nine Bajans. Don Papa Rum Aged 10 Years. Alongside Bumbu, Don Papa have become the poster boys for adultered rum masquerading as premium. You could throw a few other rums into the mix, that use additives but Don Papa’s offerings are met with dismay and derision by most serious rum enthusiasts. In Italian wine terms, you can think of Sugarlandia as being like an enormous vineyard. Only instead of begin dedicated to the vine, this land is dedicated to the growth of sugar cane. But much as we see with vineyards, Sugarlandia has many remarkable properties that are imbued into the sugar grown on it, making all of the products of Sugarlandia stand out from the crowd. I don’t know why they bothered. This is three years’ additional ageing, pretty much wasted. It’s Don Papa 7 version 2.0, and just about the whole experience is the same, except the raspberries from the younger variation, which are now dark grapes. Everything else – and I mean everything else, mouthfeel, taste, finish, smell, the works – remains the same, without even some additional oakiness or complexity to make the extra expense worth it. PS. From the editors of 88 Bamboo: Thank you John for taking one for the team, can't help with the diabetes but could we interest you in a mint? Score: 1