As compliments go, I’ve had better. “You don’t seem gay.” The smile, with eyebrows raised in approval, tells me it’s supposed to be a compliment, and once again I’m baffled. I can’t easily compute what it means to be gay if it’s not having just identified yourself with that label. What they’re really saying, of course, is that you’re not, in the words of Quentin Crisp, “self-evident”. You haven’t – at least in that moment, at that party – exhibited the mannerisms linked in many people’s minds with male homosexuality. The notion you would be pleased to find this out reveals an unthinking prejudice: how refreshing it is to meet a gay who doesn’t make a meal of it. This slogan is used in a TV-commercial about homosexuality in name of the Royal Dutch Football Association. It is a translation of the original Dutch pay-off "Homo? Boeit geen flikker" by Delight Agency, an advertising agency from Amsterdam. Green, Jesse (December 2003). "When Political Are Mattered". New York Times . Retrieved 2007-07-08.

Reichert, Tom; Lambiase, Jacqueline (2003). Sex in Advertising: Perspectives on the Erotic Appeal. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. p.232. ISBN 978-0-8058-4118-3.Socially speaking, of course, it’s a bit different. Because gay men have long been stigmatised, the voice is often a source of shame. Thorpe himself sought help from speech pathologist Susan Sankin to change his diction. “When I’m not confident in my life for whatever reason, sometimes those feelings of shame and stigma resurface,” he told National Public Radio. After a bad breakup, “I started to find myself repelled by gay voices ... by these chattering gay voices around me”. So he went to see Sankin. Phoneticians have identified a few telltale traits. Often, this has involved getting people to sit in a lab and listen to recordings of men speaking. They’re then asked to rate each one by perceived “gayness”. The findings include – concentrate, because this is the science bit – an affrication of t and d (a little bit of a hiss at the end), the dentalisation of s, z and n. So-called vocal fry is often present (think Kim Kardashian at her breathiest), as are high-rising terminals (also known as “uptalk” – the statement that sounds like a question). And yes, the stretching out of “sibilant” consonants such as s and z (imagine Kenneth Williams saying “She sells sea shells on the sea shore” and you’re sort of there). Designed by six people, [5] including Avram Finkelstein, [6] this slogan was used by ACT UP to draw attention to the AIDS crisis in America. It was often used in conjunction with a right-side up pink triangle. Affairs, Berkley Center for Religion, Peace and World. "Love, Gender Roles, and the Fight for Gay Marriage: A Conversation with Rob and Kristen Bell". berkleycenter.georgetown.edu . Retrieved 2023-06-04. {{ cite web}}: CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list ( link) This slogan is often used by more militant gay people and implies self-defense against gay bashers.

Now, we’re still left with the question of why a gay male voice might emerge. That’s not so hard. There’s mountains of evidence to suggest we adapt our speech to more closely resemble that of people we identify with – and, just as importantly, to sound different to those with whom we feel we have less in common. The particular sounds a group of speakers makes use of are arbitrary. They acquire meaning and recognisability only through association. The fact that these changes are usually unconscious is well documented, and explains why Thorpe felt it sort of crept up on him. But, linguistically speaking, sounding gay is really no different from sounding street, sounding posh or sounding like a bro. Free, Cathy. "This woman offered to be the 'mom' at any gay wedding. Her post went viral". Washington Post . Retrieved 2019-11-02.

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