Real friends allow you to be yourself because they accept you and like you for who you are. Fake friends don’t. If you need to fake interests or pretend to be someone else to make the friendship work, it’s not a true friendship. 18. Can you trust them to keep a secret? They try to make you feel guilty or use passive-aggressive behaviors when things don’t go their way. There comes a point in some unhealthy, unfulfilling relationships where the friendship bubble needs bursting. The lies. The faking it. The pretending everything is fine. It needs to stop. I believe friendship break-ups should be treated EXACTLY like romantic break-ups. Something like:

Take a few minutes to write down all of the qualities you want in a friend — and those that are unacceptable in a potential friend. 2. Pay attention and ask good questions. Ok so I Real friends try to solve your differences and find a middle ground where you agree. They would rather have a calm discussion than throw a temper tantrum. 13. Do they help you out when you need it? We all have our little quirks and flaws. Maybe we talk too much, laugh too loudly, or sing off-key.

Real friends have reasonable expectations of you, and they are understanding of your mistakes and flaws. They understand when and why you can’t or don’t want to do something. 9. Do they respect your boundaries? A friend should make you feel consistently happy. Friends should be exciting to be around and should always be kind and respectful of your boundaries. Unlike fake friends, friends value you simply for being the person you are. They do not expect you to be anyone you're not.

I’m obsessed with personality science. I have written extensively about introverts, extroverts and ambiverts, the unique strengths of There's something about her stuff that feels oddly familiar . . . and then it hits Amy. The Other Woman is Melissa. Awkward silence is the killer of first dates. We’ve researched 13 great first date questions to ensure you never…Board game friends? Not anymore—your friend would rather watch the paint dry than play another game of Pictionary. Gym buddies? The most exercise your friend has now is lifting the remote. The Problem: These kinds of frenemies are the worst! Why? You hope they will be supportive, but they often aren’t. Let’s say we make a friend who actually turns out to be our enemy. That could mean death. But if we instead label a potential friend as an enemy, that’s totally okay. We won’t make friends as fast, but at least we won’t die. A friend who cares invests equal time and energy into maintaining the relationship. He or she initiates plans, reaches out to talk, and shows a similar willingness to prioritize the friendship. Ambivalent relationships cause the most emotional strain, take the most energy, and are the most toxic.