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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now. Cringe-worthy (but amusing) puns
Every morning I sit down at my little desk at home, asthma medication coursing through my veins, and wait for the computer to turn on. I feel like a little clay pigeon at Christ’s shooting range, tense and hopeful in my catapult, unaware that as soon as I am flung into the light the lord or one of his business school buddies will annihilate me with a shotgun, just as I’ve started to fly. Looking for Seriously funny jokes? Let’s send the children to play so the real fun can start. These might be dirty funny jokes that you can only share with other adults, but they will laugh so hard that they will cry. Nowadays, we receive tons of information… Retaining this information is not easy, I know, that is why I use short jokes to impress people. The short jokes are always easier to remember!I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue?’ I said ‘No, just a watch.'” – Tim Vine Broaden your horizons so that you are tuned-in regardless of who you're speaking to. If you can find the humor in physics and Paris Hilton, for example, you're well on your way. Drawing an interesting parallel between two wildly different subjects can be very funny, if done well. A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says, “Really? In that case, give me a Kyle!”
A man entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did. I have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis Read , read, read. Get your hands on anything and everything that is funny, and consume it like your mom told you not to. Chemists become chemists by reading and practicing chemistry; sports writers become sports writers by reading and writing about sports; you're going to become a funnier person by reading and practicing jokes. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.Read works by people like James Thurber, P.G. Wodehouse, Stephen Fry, Kaz Cooke, Sarah Silverman, Woody Allen, Bill Bryson, Bill Watterson, Douglas Adams, etc. (Don't forget children's books by good authors; they can be a terrific source for good humor!) In my family, we have a joke contest for Christmas. We started some years ago and that is why I started collecting jokes… Now I am sharing them here. Nevertheless, if you do not want an awkward moment for your children making them pretending that they do understood the joke – or you do not want them to use them, here I collected some clean jokes here that you can share with your teens at home (or wherever you want). Need a laugh? We found the funniest jokes around to tell all of your friends and family. You'll be sure to brighten someones day when you unleash a hilarious joke when they least expect it. And you don't have to worry about these being clean: All of our favorite jokes are fit for kids and adults. In addition to the 70 jokes below, we've also got dad jokes, jokes for kiddos, mom jokes, and jokes for holidays that you can share them with the youngest person in the room (be sure to bookmark our April Fool's jokes for next year!)
Trough dank memes people can show their emotions and express their though better. Today exists many different kinds of popular memes to fulfill free time and make the whole day interesting. However, the latest memes consider being ideal for creating funny images. The list of the newest memes being updated every day. Make everybody happy and make time pass more interesting. We all know, some jokes just tell the truth in a funny way. Others just use puns so we can laugh about things. Nowadays, hilarious memes are spreading like wildfire all over the Internet, and smart marketers use the opportunity to use these viral fragments of content to their advantage. And honestly, who doesn't like humor memes? They are funny, smart and great for communication.
A cement mixer collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.” – Peter Kay A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and a mop.”
What’s a couple?’ I asked my mum. She said, ‘Two or three’. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed.” – Josie Long I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.” – Matt Kirshen
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it. Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes for the mafia. I was involved in very organised crime.” – Milton Jones
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