Julie Wants My Ass!: My First Lesbian Experience with My Best Friend. A Tale of Lesbian Seduction

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At dinner, we wondered why we couldn’t have both: explicitly lesbian spaces that also explicitly love, and welcome, trans and gender-nonconforming people. Our identities shouldn’t be opposed, but in communion with each other: butch and femme, trans and cis, lesbian and queer. Oh, well, you’re my toilet as long as you’re kissing my butt. Every society that practices butt-kissing permits this; it is not foul-play. I suggest that you don’t use the bathroom at all from now till you are sitting on me if you wish to get the full benefits of doing so.”

But even though I’ve been out for years now, I’ve still never spent much time around older lesbians. The lesbian bars and events I frequent in New York — the gay capital of the world! — are almost overwhelmingly populated by young people. The older women I did meet tended to be coupled up. I knew that hot older butches, even single ones, were out there, in my city and beyond, but I didn’t know where to find them.I would move into a house with some friends in Brooklyn, where a room had just magically opened up. There’d be a dog, and a yard. It would feel like a sign. (I’d start getting really into signs.)

I would try to separate my feelings for Lynette from my feelings about wanting someone or something different in general — out of a desperate desire to feel some sort of control over my choices — and concede that was pretty much impossible. The obvious conclusion of so much anus-focused pondering is that we’re entering an age of more sexual openness about butts, along with more degendered sex roles. The classic phrase about opinions and assholes (that everybody has one) means there’s the chance for anal play to someday become wholly divorced from notions of femininity or masculinity, straightness or gayness. Cast in this light, anilingus is an equal-opportunity sex act that implies neither domination nor submission, but a more general, power-balanced form of sexual pleasure. The primetime appearance of anilingus in the debut episode of Shonda Rhimes’s legal procedural “ How to Get Away with Murder” is more than just a blow against homophobia. It’s fully transformed into a subversion of the sexual status quo that is roundly "sex-positive" and progressive from every angle. He assured me he had no problem with gay people, and he really didn’t; the three guys running the catamaran all day were amazing. But he did occasionally seem to forget about the realities of the situation. Eventually, once we’d reboarded the boat after our snorkeling, I did start talking with a few of the women I met at the Gen O mixer earlier that week, and it only took a couple of drinks for us to become the best of friends. Mike South, a blogger who is referred to by Vice as the king of porn gossip, believes that turning towards extremism is not the way the industry needs to go, that by doing so it loses touch with the core values of pornography:

That night, Matie and Jamie convinced me (against my natural inclination to avoid live entertainment) to go to the evening’s scheduled attraction, a comedy set by Elvira Kurt. Before Elvira performed we were welcomed by Tisha, Olivia’s VP and our cruise director, who greeted the “ladies of Olivia” and announced a few of the events coming up over the next few days, including a meetup for the “Older, Wiser Lesbians,” or “OWLs.” (“Date me, OWLs!” Matie whisper-yelled next to me.)