Heathers the Musical

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Voice: baritone/tenor, power Country/Gospel belt to A♭, higher welcome. NOTE: Sometimes this actor has played PRINCIPAL GOWAN instead of BIG BUD / COACH. Former footbaH player turned suburban dad. has never out~ grown his high school glory days. HatC's weakness, but capable of soul-scatching when ll'age View more... RAM'S DAD - Former football player turned suburban Dad, has never outgrown his glory days in high school. Hates weakness, but capable of soul-searching when tragedy strikes.

Shut up, Heather! Sorry, Heather. JD enters. Heather Chandler is gone… It’s up to me to replace her. Replace Heather Chandler? Please. You need to worry less about me, and more about your reputation. Kurt and Ram have been telling the whole school about your little threeway last night. Threeway? Oh… But there was no threeway, nothing happened. I remember differently. I seem to remember there was a­ Kurt, Ram, and another student enter. Kurt, Ram: Big swordfight in her mouth! Boy 1: And she allowed it? Kurt, Ram: Big swordfight in her mouth! Heather D, Heather M: I t sure sounds crowded! And then we both went south, And planted our flags, My big salami, Kurt, Ram: Ba­bent her over like origami! More students enter. Students: W hoa­oh­oh! Whoa­oh­oh! Whoa­oh­oh! Whoa­oh­oh! Everybody was sword fighting, In her mouth! Yes, we're convinced it, Went down right in her mouth! ISBN978-0-573-70382-9 www.SamuelFrench.com www.SamuelFrench-London.co.uk FOR PRODUCTION ENQ.UIRIES UNITED STATES AND CANADA

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Critics have argued that Heathers the TV show has mistakenly conflated diversity and positive representation.

This is an excellent forgery. Who are you? Uh, Veronica. Sawyer. I, um­ I crave a boon. What boon? Um, let me sit at your table at lunch, just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they’ll leave me alone. The Heathers laugh. Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes. How about prescriptions? Shut up, Heather! Sorry, Heather. For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure. And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I’d have matching halves. That’s very important. Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds. And, you know, you know, you know, This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss, And we’re on our way. Get this girl some blush, And, Heather, I need your brush. Let’s make her beautiful. Let’s make her beautiful. Let’s make her beautiful. Make her beautiful! Okay? Okay! The Heathers and Veronica exit. Out of my way, geek.

Bill, Company: B ut now I've learned to love… Bill: I love my dead gay son! Company: H e loves his son. He loves his son. His dead gay son! Paul tries to leave and Bill follows him. Bill: N ow, I say my boy's in heaven, And he's tanning by the pool! The cherubim walk with him and him, And Jesus says “It's cool!”. They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin', Just friendly fellows dressed up like their favorite village person! They were not dirty! Company: N o, no! Bill: T hey just had flair! Company: W hoa, oh! Bill: T hey were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair! Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun, Bill, Company: B ut now I've learned to love... Paul tries to leave again. Bill: A nd furthermore! These boys were brave as hell! These boys, they know damn well! Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free! They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants! Paul, I can't believe that you, Still refuse to get a clue! After all that we've been through, I'm talking you and me! The company gasps collectively. Bill: In the summer of '83! The company gasps again. Removal of curse words as well as onstage smoking, drinking and R-rated sexual scenes (note: there are still PG-13 sexual scenes). JD - 17. he is darkly charismatic, compelling, attractive, charming on the outside yet very damaged on the inside. Keen smarts and strong inventive comedy.