THE AMOROUS MILKMAN

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Eskimo Nell (1975) This is the story of bold Benny U. Murdoch (Roy Kinnear) - owner of B.U.M Studios and producer of naughty…

Funnily enough, years and years ago, Richard Harris– an old friend of mine who was a great drunk – was asked by someone to do an autobiography and he took an advert in The Times saying: :”If anybody could remind me what I was doing between…” (LAUGHS) DERREN: I did. I finished it about two months ago. I thought: Who would want to read it? But I wrote it more as a cathartic thing. Whether or not anyone wants to publish it, I have no idea. Bizarrely, the film was based on the first novel by tv star Derren Nesbitt (of Special Branch fame) who also directed. I was in the War in London. I was in the Blitz, right in the middle of it. My first memory is seeing a baby’s head in the gutter. I saw the dead bodies and god knows what else. So I start from then. DERREN: Well, you can never be anybody else. So what you have got is me as a drag queen in those circumstances. What would I be in those circumstances? And that’s what you try and do.

Randy Milkman Davey (Brendan Price) bites off more than he can chew when he starts to deliver more than pints of milk to some of the bored housewives on his route. DERREN: (LAUGHS) Exactly, because I usually kill people. Jamie Patterson the writer/director and I became vaguely friendly and I thought: He’s very talented. Then he asked me: “Do you want to play a drag queen and a trans-crosser?” So I said: “This script I gotta read!” I read it and I thought: Absolutely! This is really good! His father was Harry Nesbitt, a comedian and music hall artist who came from South Africa with his brother Max and they performed as a duo on stage.

DERREN: She was a chorus girl, but my father and his brother were the biggest stars in London in 1928. They only retired in the mid-1950s. Randy milkman Davey ends up delivering more than pints of milk to some of the bored housewives on his round. In a short space of time he finds himself engaged to two different women, Janice and Margo, on the receiving end of a bad beating from John, the local gangster, whose girlfriend Diana has been two-timing him with Davey, and finally ending up in court on a rape charge when Gerald, an irate husband, comes home unexpectedly and discovers Davey and his wife Rita in a compromising situation. As some other reviewers have noted, THE AMOROUS MILKMAN must be the nadir of the grubby British craze for sex comedies in the 1970s. Certainly this is poor stuff indeed that makes CONFESSIONS OF A WINDOW CLEANER and its ilk look like polished and professional films in comparison. It's as if somebody decided to make their own version of that kind of storyline but jettisoned everything fun about it. Finally, he ends up in court on a rape charge when an irate husband comes home unexpectedly and discovers Terry and his wife in a compromising situation.

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JOHN: For your role as a nasty Nazi in the Clint Eastwood movie Where Eagles Dare, you reportedly talked to an ex-Gestapo man to get the feel for your screen character. JOHN: You must, at some time, have wanted to be more than an actor because there was The Amorous Milkman in 1975, which you wrote, produced and directed. She said: “Well, your father wouldn’t take Lew seriously. If Leslie Grade had asked him, he would have put money in.” He finds himself engaged to two different women and on the receiving end of a bad beating from the local gangster (Alan Lake) whose girlfriend has been two-timing him with Davey.

Ups and Downs of a Handyman, The (1975) Bob (Barry Stokes) and Maggie (Penny Meredith) inherit a country cottage in a sleepy English village from her late aunt,… DERREN: He did everything. He was involved in so many different things. Including the Grade Organisation. Lew Grade was a great, great friend of his. In fact, Lew Grade had a huge affair with my mother and told her: “If he doesn’t marry you, I will marry you and adopt him (Derren).” (LAUGHS) Maybe the biggest tragedy of my life! DERREN: Well, he’s a human being. The hardest thing in the world is to present true reality on the screen, but that’s the name of the game.

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It’s a lesser example of the fine 70s British sex comedies (there’s actually very little sex *or* comedy) with small cameos from comedy stalwarts including Diana Dors, Bill Fraser, Arnold Ridley and Roy Kinnear.