The Secret Affair

Product Information

Chloe is confident the relationship was never physical – but 15 years later it is still enormously hurtful. At the time, they had been married for 12 years and had a three-year-old son. “Before, I thought that pain could only come from a physical betrayal – there wasn’t a rulebook to follow for this type.”

The Secret – what time is it on TV? Episode 4 Series 1 cast list and preview". RadioTimes . Retrieved 31 December 2016.

REGULAR CLINCHES

Through therapy, Walter found the self-esteem he needed to end his marriage after his wife’s emotional affair. India, 28, says she is much happier after hers led to a divorce. Likewise, Tanya, 30, says it was a catalyst to end her 10-year relationship: “I’m thoroughly enjoying the independence and growth.” My heart dropped when I saw them talking to each other – they had this closeness,” says Chloe, 49. “I realised then that it was her that had come between us. He went to her with problems, shared secrets and aspirations – all those things that we used to do together.” What constitutes infidelity is specific to each relationship, says Sarah Calvert, a sex and relationships therapist based in London, but secrecy can be proof enough. “That is one of the factors – telling secrets and deep, intimate feelings that you wouldn’t want your partner to know you were sharing. It comes down to that basic question: would you be happy for your partner to be overhearing these conversations, or to know how much time you spend thinking about them?”

Jealousy over friends or colleagues might also denote a relationship that is controlling or even abusive. But in instances where those suspicions are well founded, the truth may emerge only after many painful arguments, denial and even gaslighting. Lesley (Colin's wife) receives an inheritance from her father. Colin asphyxiates Lesley and Hazel's husband Trevor whilst they sleep. He then stages a suicide pact. [6] Episode 3 [ edit ] This is where your focus should be. “You need to trust each other enough to be able to say what you’re feeling, why you might be feeling it, and to reach out to the other for help and trust that it will get a response. That’s the level of work that needs to be done. It will take sustained effort over time.” The emotional high we both got from a feeling of being recognised as people – not parents, colleagues, spouses, whatever – was addictive,” says Yvonne, 47, who had an emotional affair with her colleague. Clara, 24, echoed many respondents in describing a man she met via an app, with whom she talked nonstop for four months: “He was everything I wanted my partner to be.”Conversely, “if we feel as if our partner is not listening to us or supporting us, we’re more likely to engage in emotional infidelity,” she says (although a strong support network outside the relationship could mitigate this). It can be a catalyst for quite a seismic change – but re-establishing trust takes a long time Not every relationship would be threatened by such a bond: only 44% of respondents to the YouGov survey said they considered a non-physical connection to be cheating. Some people actively make room for others through consensual non-monogamy. Albert, a retiree who identifies as queer, says an “emotional affair” strikes him as a non-sequitur: “It equates the attachment with something that is duplicitous – this need not be the case.” Men tend to question their partners: ‘Have you had sex with that person?’ Women tend to ask: ‘Do you love that person?’ Georgina, 40, says her three-year emotional affair with a colleague was “as intense as a physical affair – perhaps more so. We never even kissed on the mouth. I had never felt closer to anyone.” Often, the discovery of an affair creates an unequal dynamic – one partner becomes crushed with guilt and accepts their pariah status, the other becomes judge, jury and executioner. But this is not particularly helpful or sustainable. Roberts, David (2006). British Hit Singles & Albums (19thed.). London: Guinness World Records Limited. p.487. ISBN 1-904994-10-5.

The Secret – what time is it on TV? Episode 2 Series 1 cast list and preview". RadioTimes . Retrieved 31 December 2016. Secret Affair rework mod classic for Save The Children campaign". Walesonline.co.uk. 20 September 2011 . Retrieved 15 November 2017. The Secret – what time is it on TV? Episode 3 Series 1 cast list and preview". RadioTimes . Retrieved 31 December 2016. SECRET AFFAIR | full Official Chart History | Official Charts Company". www.officialcharts.com . Retrieved 17 February 2021. Even if a relationship does not recover, there is more to be gained from confronting the problems at play, says Calvert.However, Bell challenges the idea that affairs only occur in dysfunctional relationships. Some people in functional relationships are simply more prone to “acting out” their sexual urges than others; and not all dysfunctional relationships occasion affairs. They also created their own take on a smart-dressing youth movement - the Glory Boys – based around the idea of 1960s gangster chic, inspired by the movie, Performance. In July 2011, Secret Affair re-recorded "Time For Action" for Save The Children. [5] The latter spearheaded their campaign for health workers in poor countries, and over 42,000 people signed the petition in the UK which was taken to David Cameron in September 2011, resulting in funds for the cause endorsed and approved by the United Nations. Dr Gayle Brewer, a senior psychology lecturer at the University of Liverpool, says that if our partner is confiding in someone else instead of us, perhaps with intimate details about our relationship, “we tend to view that as a betrayal”.