Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

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Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book as part of the launch team, but I was not required to write a positive review. My thoughts are my own. Aku bersyukur "didoktrin" oleh ayah & mamaku kalau sudah berada pada usia legal (17 tahun) berarti sudah bertanggung jawab atas hidupku sendiri. They are not trying to drive my life. Aku pun berkomunikasi dengan mereka bisa cuma sebatas FYI. Contohnya bilang, "Mam, aku pindah kerja."

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

Karena pondasi itu pula, aku terbiasa mengatakan "tidak" & menyampaikan batasanku kepada kolega. Menolak pekerjaan yg melawan "moral compass" hingga menyatakan kalau nggak bisa "diganggu" di luar jam kerja memang terkesan arogan kalau nggak tahu cara menyampaikannya. Tapi, kalau kita nggak belajar buat "saying in the right tone", ya orang lain akan merasa bebas "to violate our boundaries." I follow Nedra Tawwab on ig and generally found her posts around boundaries helpful to aid daily reflections, as someone who is actively working on my boundaries. I understand that she is a licensed social worker but primarily has qualifications and experience in therapy, so I was looking forward to more of her writing and insights. I also found it strange that nearly all of her examples of boundaries are telling what the other person should do. I'm going to share these in Tawwab's favorite format: a list.Set Boundaries, Find Peace’ should be a required reading before we reach adulthood! Whether it’s through family or social conditioning, the vast majority of us have incorporated poor boundaries into some or all areas of our lives. The cost for us not having healthy boundaries is great! This book will help. Apparently service workers have to be perfect and nice and friendly all the time and having a bad day is a violation of customers' boundaries. This book is clearly written for a very small subset of the population who are neurotypical, able-bodied, and financially well off who only interact with other neurotypical, able-bodied, and financially well off people. And while this book may even give some good advice to people like this, I cannot in good conscience recommend it because of the clearly individualistic and ignorant views the author so clearly holds and advocates for. If you want the most comprehensive, relevant, and relatable guide to setting boundaries, speaking your needs, and living a more peaceful life, Nedra Tawwab’s book on boundaries is for you.” For example, one of the situations given were that someone's father had a drinking problem and consistently is verbally abusive and disruptive when he drinks at family events. The suggestion given was for the son to set the boundary for his father not to drink at family events. I am curious to know what else has been tried - some of which has been discussed in the example - but I would like to know if the father has sought help? Has the family decided that having an alcohol-free event might be helpful to his health, or just not inviting him to these events, and if so, what were the reasons for not employing these strategies instead? Is the father aware and pro-active in suggesting his own behavioural changes or not? How has this worked over time - were there lapses, did they use and discard strategies? Has anyone considered a more drastic boundary (like cutting him off) and what were some considerations and pains to that? Are there any safety issues such as retaliation or escalation of violence?

Set Boundaries, Find Peace : A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

Set Boundaries, Find Peaceis a down-to-earth and practical guide on fully realizing your potential and giving yourself the freedom you deserve by clearly setting healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life, friendships, and relationships. Eye-opening and thoroughly engaging.” There were also some examples that weren't egregious but were still telling people what to do. Tawwab says herself to state things with "I first" language, and I guess that only extends to the first word of the sentence lol. But I feel like there are ways to state your need without telling someone exactly what to do to meet that need. Like instead of saying "you can only drink three drinks," say "I want both of us to spend time together fully aware and in the moment" or "I don’t like hanging out with you when you are drunk." Yes, this leaves how to meet the boundary up to interpretation but shouldn't boundaries be a discussion about how two people can meet each other's needs? I feel like it should be a conversation, but Tawwab clearly feels that you should state your needs, not explain yourself, and deal with the fallout, which just seems so miserable to me.

Wikipedia citation

Tawwab debuts with a comprehensive guide on how to understand and establish interpersonal boundaries….She identifies six types of boundaries—physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, material, and time—and dispenses tips on how to uphold personal limits….Readers who follow Tawwab on social media and those who find setting boundaries especially difficult will appreciate the advice.” Book Genre: Adult, Counselling, ers, Health, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Relationships, rs, Self Help, sers It becomes very clear that such negotiations happen and discussions on boundaries should happen in these areas once you take into account the lived realities of many people in very different situations. Someone who is disempowered by systemic issues will have to make these concessions daily.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace — Nedra Tawwab Set Boundaries, Find Peace — Nedra Tawwab

Dengan dugaan kalau aku akan menemukan cara menyampaikan batasanku & bagaimana kami mengelola batasan itu, ternyata buku ini melebihi ekspektasi. Nedra Glover Tawwab memberikan penjelasan yang bisa diaplikasikan dalam hubungan kerja dan keluarga (anak-orangtua). This book is a capitalist’s wet dream. It repeatedly drills into your head that you are responsible for every aspect of your life if you only take action. If you set boundaries, then your relationships will be healthy. If you don’t talk negatively about yourself, then people won’t talk negatively about you. If you work hard, then you will be rewarded. And I think a big reason this book is so popular is because a large number of people agree with this point of view of the world. They can’t or refuse to see the myriad of factors that affect the life circumstances of every person on this planet. The book on boundaries we’ve all been waiting for!NedraTawwab offers clarity and direction with grace and compassion on a topic often discussed but rarely integrated. If you’re ready to live in alignment and shift your relationship with self and others, Set Boundaries, Find Peaceis your next must read.” PDF / EPUB File Name: Set_Boundaries_Find_Peace_-_Nedra_Glover_Tawwab.pdf, Set_Boundaries_Find_Peace_-_Nedra_Glover_Tawwab.epub Reading about boundaries with work and social media affected me more personally. I'm glad Glover Tawwab can't hear reader as they go... She missed a lot of me calling myself out for regular complaints I make yet have not done anything about. I'm also thankful the author's prose is never judgmental; her words inform but do not presume universal application.Joke aside, aku tergelitik bikin Reels bertemakan buku yg harus dibaca para bos boomers 😂 Dan aku akan memasukkan judul ini. I was humbled reading this book, y'all! A mental health clinician myself, I knew about boundaries and thought I understood their importance... WRONG! The health of boundaries is a lens through which you can view all discomfort. Learning about these many intersections made me a better therapist (chapter 6 is solutions-focused magic and I've already seen clients reap its rewards!). Another example where this was not considered. A given example of a micro breach was when a cashier started bagging someone's groceries in an aggressive way. While I agree that mishandling of one's possessions is a breach of boundaries, it was a really oddly specific example, and it is not mindful of the fact that often it is service staff whose boundaries get breached everyday by the sheer fact that they are not the ones in a position of power in this interaction.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab - Open Library Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab - Open Library

Yes, because no one on Earth is forced to live and interact with their abusive parents or spouse or other relative because they can’t afford not to.Set Boundaries, Find Peace direkomendasikan @thebibliothetic . Katanya, aku bakal suka. Pada saat yang bersamaan, aku jg tengah menggemari topik membahas relasi (romantis) manusia. (Because I'm 1000% manifesting my current lovey-dovey partnership and I want this to work 🥺.) This is the boundary bible. Nedra teaches us not only how to set healthy boundaries but to be clear about our feelings and intentions. Finding peace requires showing up—Nedra has written the blueprint on how to not only show up but also do the work.” Another aspect of interpersonal relations quite egregiously missing in this guide is the consideration of power dynamics. Tawwab did briefly mention that if you are in an abusive situation, you may find it hard to draw boundaries and to seek professional support, but I feel like this only shows that her extensive experience with working with individuals as a therapist may be limited to a very particular demographic. If you don’t have time for something that you want to do, you don’t have healthy boundaries with time."