Don't Hold My Head Down

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Taking time over sex is probably the one thing that I and my partner will try to stick to the most, while putting my finger in my anus for one minute a day while in the shower is probably something that I'll pass on, thanks all the same. Että vasta kun tiedät tantran kaikki kujeet ja saat ne 14 erilaista orgasmia (… suhtaudun tähän vähän skeptisyydellä) olet boss oman seksuaalisuutesi kanssa. um livro sobre sexo, sobre os vários tipos de orgasmo que existem, sobre masturbação e muito mais, mas é acima de tudo um livro sobre a importância de nos conhecermos a nós mesmas sem pudor e vergonha. As you read through, more and more it feels as though the intended demographic is simply previous versions of herself.

It blows stereotypes about sex, silence and stigma wide open, unflinchingly confronts the reality of women’s complex sexual lives without patronising or preaching, and best of all it will make you laugh yourself silly at the same time! But, if there’s anything isolating about the book, besides the isolation that ultimately comes from reading the experiences of someone who isn’t like you, it’s the unstoppable British slang and voicey-ness.

It was so powerful to see from a woman's perspective how men can forget basic decency and respect so quickly when it comes to sexual pleasure. I recommend to any woman or person looking for some self love and understanding of how to embark on that journey.

Her broaching of topics often perceived as taboo (hello, anal stimulation and the trauma of an unregretted abortion) can feel brave, but in an overwhelming and more important way feel completely necessary for the continuation of the narrative of the book and the broader societal conversation. For Don’t Hold My Head Down to obtain any sort of international acclaim, which might not even be its goal, readers outside of the UK will have to look past the slang, the uncountable instances of “blimey”, and references they don’t understand to get to the heart of the book. Using a largely comic tone, the author goes through her personal journey to become more engaged with, and intentional about, her own sex life and pleasure, resulting in an autobiographical work that's both entertaining and thought-provoking at the same time. However, apart from the occasional stylistic disagreement (some of the language was a bit twee for me) I thought this was an excellent book, a really good introduction to lots of ideas, and I think I'm going to get my own copy.Holmesin seksimatkan mullistavin yksittäinen oivallus oli se, että hän halusi ja nautti hitaammasta seksistä sekä itsensä että muiden kanssa. A humorous, self-deprecating, and self-effacing but intelligent and inquisitive narrator takes us on a belated journey of sexual self-discovery that is both educational and liberating. I love that she also makes sure she is disclaiming all her cultural biases being English and all that. Comparisons with Caitlin Moran come to mind, but where the latter always aims for the punchline, Holmes is much more genuine in both her biography and her humour.

I actually keep a handwritten book journal, where I transcribe favourite quotes from the books that I have read. Todella hyviä ja arvokkaita juttuja esimerkiksi suostumuksesta (wheel of consent oli käsitteenä jotain, joka meistä jokaisen olisi hyvä ottaa haltuun, vaikka toki tämä ei Holmesin oma käsite ollutkaan), omista rajoista, ein sanomisesta ja vastaanottamisesta, itsetuntemuksesta. Not really about sex at all - more about the entrenched patriarchal constructs that make it hard for us to enjoy pleasure like men can. Without Holmes’ Bridget-Jones-esque timbre the book would risk coming off as just another banal think piece about female sexuality or a downright depressing report on the perceptions of female pleasure and bodies.I’m clearly no expert as I have no children or plan for children, but I hope that Holmes’ honest discussion about post-partum sex and sexuality brings comfort and opens up the conversation among mothers and to-be mothers about what the fuck is actually going on. Just when I thought I figured out the reason for using a page long textbox, they pop up used in a completely different way a few pages later.