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It was never an issue about care. We knew, as a family, that Mum would be at home and that we could look after her. We have amazing support from our local Hospice, from the Community team and from the carers that come in every day to help, but in the main, it's down to my Dad. He's 76 and Mum is 80. This book just took my breath away and shows so much love and care towards Kate's family and so much courage one family can have. A carer is a very special person in so many ways and I cared for my father in Law for many years until the end of life....So a big Hug to you Kate and family, this book is an inspiration for us all out there. What came through particularly clearly for me was the older generation’s determination to not be a burden: living through the Second World War gave them a sense of perspective, such that they mostly did not complain about physical ailments and did not expect heroic measures to be made to help them. (Her father knew his condition was “becoming too much” to deal with, and Granny Rosie would sometimes say, “I've had enough of me.”) In her father’s case, this was because he held out hope of an afterlife. Although Mosse does not share his religious beliefs, she is glad that he had them as a comfort.
As Kate Mosse points out in the opening chapter of the book, An Extra Pair of Hands is not a ‘how to’ book but a tribute to three ‘extraordinary’ people – her father, her mother and her mother-in-law – and her own reflections on becoming a carer, the ‘extra pair of hands’ of the book’s title. Rosalind Smith, in Suffolk, was a full-time carer for her husband, John, for eight years. Kate’s experiences resonated greatly with her.
She mentions three Rs – routine, repetition and regularity. But even so, she often felt she was falling short much of the time. I am a Big fan of Kate Mosse and I have read all her books. Every book of Kate's are just remarkable and this latest book "An Extra Pair of Hands" was a book from the heart especially as this book is about Kate's own personal story finding herself as a carer in middle age: firstly helping her heroic mother care for her beloved father through Parkinson's, then supporting her mother in widowhood, and finally as 'an extra pair of hands' for her 90-year-old mother-in-law.
As our population ages, more and more of us find ourselves caring for parents and loved ones – some 8.8 million people in the UK. An invisible army of carers holding families together. Over the past two decades, the bestselling author has been a carer three times: to her father suffering from Parkinson’s, to her widowed mother and presently to her mother-in-law, the exuberant Granny Rosie. Unafraid to depict the exhausting reality of caring, her timely story is compassionate and humane, judiciously blending the personal with the political; as she eloquently argues, “care is a feminist issue”. The MaidensIn An Extra Pair of Hands Kate Mosse explored what it is like to become a carer for those who has once cared for you. Having gone through this myself recently I say it is the moment you become an actual adult. You may have a mortgage, a car, be married and even have kids of your own but when your parents become your responsibility the whole axis of your world goes of kilter. And it is terrifying. A deeply moving story of what it means to care for those we love by bestselling author Kate Mosse, a celebration of older people and ageing, and of finding joy in the smallest acts of everyday caregiving. By the end of the An Extra Pair of Hands, I felt uplifted by the strength of the human spirit, the power of friendship and compassion and the joy of lives lived well. Kate Mosse takes us on. her journey of caring for her mother, father and mother-in-law. Anyone who has cared for a family member or friend will be able to relate to her honest account of the conflicting emotions and the challenges that she experienced, but what I loved about this book was that it reminds us that caring is a privilege, and one that will enrich your life and your relationships.
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