I had one older son who was five years old at the time, and I miscarried a daughter at 5 months the year before. It was a baby that I was looking forward to and a pregnancy I enjoyed with all my heart. After the loss, I could not relate to any of my friends. I felt that they were on totally different planes. It was antagonising every time we would meet because they would show off those extra babies on their arms like arm-candy and it would irk me thoroughly. I stopped going out with them, I stopped taking their calls,” she says, adding that despite these were not her friends’ intentions this was how she saw it. I started to find happiness in my life myself and stopped depending on my husband to provide it for me. I took classes, started learning new skills, met people more often, reconnected with safe friends,” she notes, adding that getting the love from her spouse should be merely a bonus as one should find happiness in one’s self first before expecting it from others. As a couple, their initial reaction was to turn to God and look to religion for answers, and while that helped that did not last very wrong.

The added levels of communication were useful in binding the broken relationship and they remain to this day married. My husband and I didn’t talk much and we were on totally different wavelengths. We haven’t connected much for years before this and he was focused only on his work. I could be in extreme pain on the side and he wouldn’t notice,” she says. I did love my husband – he is also the father of my child and we shared some important things together,” she says. I guess what I really truly did was just wait out the storm. Just wait, without reacting, bearing in mind that I was the one to blame here so I needed to just be the anchor here and let everything fizzle out. And it did, thankfully,” she says. My wife has amazing intuition,” says a 40-year-old Tokyo company employee. “I started going out with this woman I met at work. She’s 10 years younger than me. Anyway, one day I’m at home cutting my nails, and all of a sudden my wife says, ‘What’re you so happy about?’ I said, ‘What?’ She says, ‘You’re humming. That’s not like you.’Never, never, writes Kameyama in Shukan Asahi, bring your lady friend home. Your wife may be away visiting her parents and seemingly out of the picture; it’s dreadfully imprudent all the same. “A woman may be curious to see her boyfriend’s domestic establishment,” she writes, “and she may savor the tingle of fear she feels upon entering the premises, but the end result is jealousy and regret. it’s a very bad idea.”

A professor at the University of Utah found that over the last 30 years, the number of Americans who have had extramarital sex has held steady at 16%. However, he found cheating was significantly higher in married Americans over 55, at 20%, compared to 14% of those under the age of 55. I don't care if my boyfriend goes to a soapland as long as I don't know about it. It’s not cheating, it’s just what Japanese guys do." What is the point of getting involved with a man that is married or has a girlfriend? I just don't get it. I suggest enjoying the moments in life you are given, and the special people you can when you can, but be selective. All your post has given me is the impression that it is not so much the man that gives you pleasure and fulfillment as your imagined hold on him. I can't express clearly enough what a turn off that is for me and how shallow and short-sighted I find that outlook. I prefer to love people for who they are rather than what they can give me. 1

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Both Kumiko and Kenichi refuse to talk about the subject, not wanting to burden the other with their sexual troubles. Kenichi continues frequenting the soapland, telling his masseuse sex is purely physical and has nothing to do with love. Meanwhile, Kumiko falls into a deep depression, meeting random men at love hotels, going through the motions of adultery while deeply frustrated she fails to make love to Kenichi, the only one who she ever truly felt a connection to. For Zenigata2, I know what you probably went through. A friend of mine married like you (he was fresh off the boat in Yokosuka, and married a women 15 yrs older than he, and she had "been around" and finally found someone). A woman like that is looking out for her self interest in making sure that she does not get done to her what she probably had been doing to other women while she was younger. 0 Recounting her side of the story, she notes that expressing his love and showing he cared was something her husband did not do. It is never okay to cheat. If you are being abused (physically or mentally), leave the relationship rather than cheat. Cheating opens up a whole new can of worms, one that will change not only your husband’s life but also yours drastically,” she adds. Unlike in the United States, where strippers and prostitutes are generally looked down upon, hostesses tend to be more respected, with some even appearing on Japanese variety TV shows.

In 2020, if your partner found out you were frequenting a massage parlor to treat more than stiff shoulders, in most cases, having it swept under the rug is not a likely outcome.

It is just as easy to dream that he is all yours forever when he clearly isn't as it is when the odds are good he isn't. Those are generally your choices, because you may get divorced or he may have cheated.

But that's really no more than a personal thing to me. I really don't feel comfortable extending what's good for me and my wife to all of humanity. IF these salarymen want to have affairs, well, they have every right to do so and little concern to me. 0An idealist like this will always be disappointed in life. We all have some secrets and have told some lies. It does not make our relationships meaningless. Of course “My Husband Won’t Fit” is just a fictional drama, but does Kumiko and Kenichi’s relationship resonate with Japanese?