Then there is a chapter about sex (nothing you’d be afraid to have your neighbor see you reading), money, and clutter.

I'm not proud to say that the main reason I haven't had her do anything more arduous is that I haven't had the patience to teach her how to do chores, nor to remind her to do them. So, I started writing down for the Modern Mommy Doc community more about 6 core areas of focus: dreaming big, spending time on what matters, making space for ourselves, investing in our physical and mental health, parenting in partnership, and the way we parent our kids. I did roll my eyes a bit at the beginning but actually found myself getting more interested as the book went on. Six years later, Dunn was pretty sure that if the current trajectory kept up, she and Tom would be headed to divorce court. This idea was reminiscent of another one I heard from a friend where her and her husband each get 1 evening off per week.Disclaimer that no one should be having sex unwillingly—these are just tips for finding time and getting in the mood. Despite how common it is for couples to feel less satisfied or experience more challenges after having a child, many parents don't open up about these issues – let alone seek help. Once she understood she wasn't alone, she moved away from blaming herself for her rage, and instead figuring out why it was she felt this way. They learned techniques such as “mirroring,” when the person echoes what the other person just said, and paraphrasing the gist of their complaint. When I told some girlfriends I was pregnant after the squeals of delight, they warned me that inevitably, during the newborn phase, I was going to hate my husband.

Finally, many experts tell me that the best—some say only—way to teach one’s husband to learn the ropes and appreciate the volume of work you do is often the technique that is least used: leave the damn house. She is largely successful and gives plenty of tips that readers can incorporate immediately into their lives. My thought is that while it’s great to think about this division of labor before your first baby comes, we were so unaware of what having a baby would actually be like, that it would not have been that useful to divide up tasks before the baby arrived (for example, laundry was a much BIGGER task after the baby arrived). According to the large review on relationship satisfaction over time, which Buehler co-authored, these include clear, open communication; feeling understood and validated; spending time together at least once per week; and having realistic expectations – in particular, not believing that one's partner must be ideal in every way.Ben and I have been doing a similar sleeping-in schedule, giving me Saturdays and him Sundays for an extra hour or so of sleep without feeling guilty. If you must conquer guilt, she adds, tell yourself, ‘When I take time for myself, I come back and I’m more the mother I want to be. Babies raised by unhappily married parents have been shown to have a host of developmental problems, from delayed speech and potty training to a reduced ability to self-soothe.

Her therapists while seemingly well intended, often pile on her to continue upholding a staggering mental load. Verbally cherishing your wife with compliments, for example, is a good thing for her, good for Sylvie to see, and a good thing for Sylvie to expect from her guy or gal when she grows up. As I mentioned, I checked this book out from the library, but if I hadn’t, I would have been marking up this whole book. The myriad stresses of caregiving, including the way in which it often reinforces traditional gender roles, aren't the only challenges for couples who have a child.Speaking of whack, I did want to reach into my Kindle and strangle Jancee's husband Tom a few times! I think my husband would find this book so helpful and interesting too, but I don't want him to know I was even reading a book suggesting that I hate him post-kids (I don't).