I told myself and others that I was so immersed in Teri’s care because no one else could understand Teri’s medical issues and advocate for her. Mom was a nurse, meanwhile, and had my dad, a radiologist, my brother, also a radiologist, and my aunt, a nurse, for support. But the truth was that I wanted to help and be with Teri more, and she wanted me with her, so I was. Whenever I thought about this, I felt equal parts warrior and betrayer.

Kenny stretched, then turned on his side. His memories were like a movie reel. The best part was yet to come. Larry didn't pay money for chores. "Instead I'll be glad to take you hiking or even go on a fishing trip,” he had said. I never acted upon it in case I overthought things, and I didn’t want to make her feel awkward if that was the case.Kenny jerked awake in his room as he heard his squeaky doorknob. Through half-closed eyelids he watched his mom step in.

Slumping on his bed, Kenny thought of dad who had been gone since the winter the boy had turned nine. "My leaving has nothing to do with you. I'll always love you," dad said. Then he stepped out of his life, like a fading ghost. There were times Kenny cried like a baby, over something he knew was missing in his life. My mom was anxious for updates, and we spoke every day about Hope’s weight gain and our activities. Before she’d left, I’d asked Mom if she could return once Teri’s week was up. “I guess I can,” she’d responded wearily. But Teri told her boss she needed to stay another week, and that evening, I told Mom: “Teri can stay, so you don’t need to come.” Instantly, I regretted my words and the suggestion that I had Teri so I didn’t need her. “I mean, Teri’s OK,” I said lamely. The first time they had met was last year when Kenny began a paper route. Kenny had marched up the front steps. "Would you like to take the weekly? He had asked. "I guarantee good service, how about it?"I never knew who was going to die first, but in less than a year, Teri was gone. Two days after the funeral I felt exhausted and empty and ready, at last, to go to Mom. My family had been mostly understanding about my dedication to Teri, but occasional comments from my brother — “you only have one Mom, you know” — and my aunt — “You’re coming, right? Because I don’t think I can get her to the doctor myself” — made me feel that my loyalty was in question.