Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived. It combines a mixture of data, historical accounts and modern day stories to highlight the ongoing pervasive nature of the patriarchy. While analyzing history, fairy tales, myths, folklore, religion, and much more, Loehnen provides us with an important argument around how owning our desire leads to wholeness and a rich human experience not a sinful one.

This is a hard book to review. Parts of it felt more 3-star to me but I'm bumping it to 4 because there are parts that definitely resonated. Her argument is that we're all (but especially women) living with a lot of unnecessary rules and guilt because of what's known as the "Seven Deadly Sins." She outlines how she thinks this thinking went wrong from a Biblical perspective.

Become a Member

The author pays attention to the particular challenges faced by those in the minority who face additional discrimination but recognises that in the position of a privileged white woman she cannot speak to their experiences. Highlights the conflicting priorities or a patriarchal society (looking after the children’s and men) vs the capitalist society (work to make money)-the result of which is that women try to do it all. Half historical docent, half big sister with a hot cup of tea, read this and change your life' TERRENCE REAL Creo que ha sido una lectura que hace conexión con muchas otras que he leído este año, ha sido una gran influencia en cómo he visto mi vida en estas últimas semanas y si bien ya hace años que no practico ninguna religión creo que este libro dio por cerrada mi relación con esos dogmas. After finding out who Elise Loehnen is, the previous Chief Content officer for Goop, made me a little uncomfortable as Goop is a questionable company, as is its owner. I won't hold her accountable for the shittiness of said company, and owner, but I can choose to not read something by someone that worked so closely with such methods of thought.

Since being codified by the Christian church in the fourth century, the Seven Deadly Sins--pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth--have exerted insidious power. Even today, in our largely secular, patriarchal society, they continue to circumscribe women's behavior. For example, seeing sloth as sinful leads women to deny themselves rest; a fear of gluttony drives them to ignore their appetites; and an aversion to greed prevents them from negotiating for themselves and contributes to the 55 percent gender wealth gap. Loehnen reveals how women have been programmed to obey the rules represented by these sins and how doing so qualifies them as "good." On Our Best Behaviour is an informative account of how women are suppressed and separated from our true selves in modern society. The golden thread throughout this book is that if the seven deadly sins and Elise Loehnen shows how the idea of these has been woven throughout culture, society and politics to keep women in their place and used to continue to programme women to obey the rules and support the patriarchal norm of our society.In Loehnen's words: "We need to process the ways in which the legacy of "goodness," defined as purity and abnegation, continues to both limit and torment us." I abandoned the book at about 90% when she started justifying the use of a medium. Idc what rich people do with their money but mediums regularly scam low-income people out of money. Nope. A stunning, big, and bold encyclopedia of how to live—the first post-pandemic book to take our latest measurements and provide something fresh to comfort, embolden, enlighten, and enrich who we are today . . . On Our Best Behavior is nothing short of a tangible necessity in our new intangible world.” —Lisa Taddeo, New York Times bestselling author of Three Women The value that is placed in this book on allowing women to be who they are naturally are and to allow all of those in society to express and feel all emotions is powerful. One of the most empowering aspects of "On Our Best Behavior" is Loehnen's encouragement for women to embrace their imperfections and let go of the need to be "good" at all times. She reminds readers that it's okay to be human and make mistakes, and that true growth comes from learning from our missteps and finding balance in our lives.