In the next short section, Steve uses fishing as an example of the relationship men and women developed since the beginning of time. As all people know, a person can fish in two different way: Fun or so-called Sport-Fishing; and fishing to eat. If ur man truly loves u and he's a real man, he'll figure out a way to get his mom on board with making his woman happy-to smooth everything out so that the relationship can work for all parties involved. According to Harvey, many women’s dating struggles stem from the fact that they don’t understand men. Specifically, they don’t understand 1) what drives men, 2) how men love, 3) what men need from women, and 4) what men don’t want. But, Harvey argues, unless you understand these topics, you won’t know how to respond to the games men often play in relationships and thus risk heartbreak. I thought it was particularly sad when the author related how his wife had given up sports she loved, like scuba diving, because he, not knowing how to do those things, could not protect her while she did them. It is sexist, misogynistic crap. And honestly, men should be livid that people like Steve are out there saying that men are basically egotistical walking impulses with no discretion, no thoughts, no nurturing instincts, minimal care for their partner's hopes and dreams and needs unless that partner makes his life perfect and easy, and of very little value except for what he brings home and what he can do in bed.

Act like a Lady, Think like a Man: What Men Really Think

I get the sense that Steve Harvey hates women, but, the thing is, he might actually hate men even more. “Men are very simple creatures,” he repeats throughout the book as a tagline. According to him, men are incapable of chitchat, only talk to you because they want to have sex with you, wouldn’t wash or shave if it weren’t for women, and would only eat lunch meat and watch ESPN if they could. He offers the basest, most barbaric definition of manhood that would rival any seasoned misandrist's. Steve Harvey says men are simple. No matter where he’s currently at, there are three things that shape his identity and self-esteem: However, when he fails to satisfy the social norms, the feeling of dejection starts to take over. In addition, Steve mentions the three things all men need: Disclaimer - a friend asked me to read this with her because she is single and “not sure what she is doing wrong”.What is wrong with you for thinking your boyfriend or husband wants to talk to you? "That's what your girlfriends are for." Because "women love to sit and talk for no apparent reason but to talk". The last intriguing part of this book is also the most comprehensible. We’ll try to boil it down as much as possible and share the key takeaways. Providing is not only monetary, but it’s also about helping to fix things, moving stuff, or solving problems. Stand by him, always. Harvey asserts that a man who knows you’ll stand by his side, stay faithful, and support him no matter what is one who’ll stay loyal to you, too.

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: A Summary of Steve Harvey

Well, this is the hard one! To change something, you must know that the thing you’ve been doing is in need of alteration. If you’re looking for a committed relationship, Harvey recommends that you withhold sex for the first 90 days. Harvey contends that sex is a privilege of being with you, not a right—and you should evaluate him for 90 days to determine whether he’s worthy of that benefit. In this section, we’ll discuss why you should wait for 90 days—and how to get successfully to Day 91. Why 90 Days? In this guide, we’ll first resolve the common misunderstandings women have about men. Then, we’ll discuss Harvey’s tips for finding a man and how to behave in both the short- and long-term to keep him around. Finally, we’ll discuss Harvey’s strategies for solving issues you might face in a long-term relationship. How Women Misunderstand Men Oddly, reading this, I couldn’t help but think of marxist feminist scholar Silvia Federici and her 1975 essay " Wages Against Housework," which suggested reproductive labor is the foundation of industry and worthy of a wage. If there’s anything I’ve discovered during my journey here on God’s earth, it’s this," Harvey writes. "(a) too many women are clueless about men, (b) men get away with a whole lot of stuff in relationships because women have never understood how men think, and (c) I’ve got some valuable information to change all of that.” He promises that the book will be a “wide-open look into the minds of men” and suggests it will function for women much like the playbook the New England Patriots created in 2007 by secretly videotaping their opponents’ practices and reading rival coaches’ lips to figure out their plays. “With the advantage, the Patriots were able to win games,” Harvey explains, in case his female audience was unaware. He neglects to mention the Patriots were fined over a half-million dollars for their tactics and despised by the public for years to come.

Harvey argues that men are all driven by the same motivations. They need to figure out three things to feel like a man: what their job will be, what their title will be because of that job (like “manager”), and how much money they’ll earn. Men are also motivated by the need to feel like they’re in charge in at least one area of their life—like their professional life.

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think

Shortform note: The proliferation of writing that aims to help women understand men suggests Harvey isn’t alone in believing that women struggle in this regard. However, evidence suggests that men struggle to understand women, too—for example, men have difficulty reading women's facial expressions.)

In the Q&A section, a question asks "What do men think of women who buy drinks?" and he says "It's a total come-on. In our mind, if you want to buy us a drink, you want us. And if we think you want us, well, we're coming in for the kill." Really? So scratch all that talk about a guy's instincts to pursue a woman and chase her? Men are often driven by success. They want to achieve goals, and then they can focus on relationships. Men show love through actions rather than words or caring gestures. Now, the part that made me want to throw the book against the wall (but I didn't, because I was reading on the iPad) was about cheating. According to Harvey, the first thing to consider when you start to date a man is what he wants from you. Does he want to pursue you in the hopes of starting a relationship—or, is he just interested in sleeping with you? Harvey argues that in the vast majority of cases, it’s the latter scenario. Most men only want to have a fun, physical fling with you, and if you expect more from them—in other words, commitment—you’ll only be disappointed.