In my mind, a wedding ring has two purposes – 1) as a reminder/symbol to yourself of your commitment, and 2) to advertise to others that you are in that relationship. There are plenty of married couples that don’t have sex and sex isn’t the sole purpose of marriage, so I don’t think that argument holds up. we have to give slide presentations about ourselves, should I have a no-weekend-work policy for my team, and more I know next to nothing about s/d relationships, but I’ve seen the term “24/7” a few times, which strikes me as a little…odd. I understand that it means that the roles of dominant and submissive aren’t ever “turned off” in your relationship- I get that. But I mean, in the sense that, unless you spend all of your time with your partner, none of us are in 24/7 relationships. Of course I don’t mean that I’m somehow not married to my spouse when I’m at work, but rather that, when working, I’m not actively “in” my marriage. I’m not thinking about my spouse, making plans, talking ABOUT them endlessly, thinking out how our evening’s gonna go – because I’m at work, and in work mode. I feel that an s/d relationship needs to be “set aside” at work in the same way any other relationship would be.

Now that is sayd, I must say that this is one of the best "Collar" storys I ever read - Enjoy it. And let me know if you also like it? The use of collars in BDSM is a common practice that serves multiple purposes, including establishing dominance and submission, signifying ownership, and enhancing the overall experience. The wearing of a collar is a physical symbol of the power exchange between dominant and submissive partners. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people are reacting to this question as if the proposition is “Can I get away with wearing a Really Obvious Collar at work” rather than what the LW said, which was that she was looking for a piece that flies under the radar. As for bigboicat, you’re not being forced into a sexual scenario or pulled into a their kink because you see a collar. For a lot of people it’s not “kinks” or “scenes” it’s a lifestyle and again can have the same sentimental value as a wedding band for some. And again I can make the same statement for such rings and claim that I have been forced to be aware that they are in a relationship and having sex with someone. ??? It sounds nonsense when you try to make that argument against a ring and it’s the same way for a collar. Wearing a collar doesn’t make someone more likely to go to work thinking about their sexual escapades from the night before and not wearing one doesn’t make them any less likely.

General Advice and Consent

Ah... before I forget about it, of course a submit to a Mistress would be performed in the same way and also with a kajirus (male slave). I wear a Claddagh ring. Have done since I was given it on my 18th birthday by my mother. Thing is there are connotations to how it is worn and what hand and finger it’s on (The way I’m wearing it right now would traditionally indicate I’m looking for love). Its not my intention but that’s the implication. Wearing it facing the other way would imply I’m in a relationship and unavailable. Is that TMI about me? It’s very meaningful to me that this was given to me by my mother and my hand feels strange when the ring is not there, has done since I tried it on when my mum was buying it before my birthday but wasn’t allowed wear it until I turned 18. He stepped behind the girl and, in the manner of Ti and certain other cities, thrust down her head and held ready the opened collar. That’s not the rest of the world though, where people will not hesitate to write you off for minor things, or completely unfair things. You risk that, so you have to trade off your career aspirations against whether you want to wear that collar, against how subtle (or not), you want the collar to be. Anon, I’m with Scientist on this. It seems like you fundamentally disagree with the idea that a collar offers more explicit information about the dynamic of the wearer’s relationship, but … it does. It says “I am committed in a D/s relationship.” Does the D/s necessarily imply or restrict itself to sex? Absolutely not. But does the collar make the D/s part explicit? Yes, to anyone who’s paying attention.

Personally, if I were in a 24/7 relationship, I would want something as subtle as humanly possible, so I would probably go the anklet route, but I hold my personal life very well… personal. my boss is sleeping with my nemesis, I’m about to go on vacation and just used all my PTO on the flu, and moreYES. I have been trying to pinpoint what has been bothering me about this debate, and you’ve nailed it. Unlike the other collars mentioned above, slave collars are for a specific type of BDSM relationship where the submissive has consented to give up all their freedom to their dominant. In other relationships where the submissive wears a collar, the boundaries may be different. Posture Collar I would think that a collar would serve the same two purposes. Now, not being that familiar with the 24/7 sub/dom relationship, when I hear about that type of relationship I automatically think that it’s a sexual thing. So I wouldn’t recognize most of those collars for what they are, but if someone told me, I would see it as an advertisement of what kind of sexual relationship you’re in. (I realize that a 24/7 dom/sub relationship is probably about more than sex, but #1 I wouldn’t necessarily know it was a 24/7 thing, and #2 those who aren’t as familiar are probably going to see it as solely sexual). Whereas, people are more familiar with marriage and understand it’s meaning beyond sex in most cases. I’ll just share my experience and let you run with it, OP, because I have no actual answers. Great discussion here.

Collars can be bought at local dungeons by vendors and crafters. You can also find those same people on Fetlife through meets, munches, and networking. However, you can buy collars online as well. Kink is a subculture and lifestyle that appeals to people with a particular set of personality traits, and it crosses all sexual orientation lines from straight to every color of the LGBTQIA community. While I do understand that some people who live that lifestyle exclusively don’t see it as such, it is. There is choice involved. The practice of using three stages of collaring is informally followed by some in the BDSM community. The three collars come from the traditions of the three rings of a formal relationship; the Promise ring, the Betrothal ring, and the Wedding ring. These collars tend to be worn by submissives who want to indicate that they are already in a committed relationship. It is often simple and unassuming and can be worn during a person's day-to-day life, it may include a tag with the name or initials of the dominant partner. Now it is the time typically any Free in attendance would congratulate the Master on his new slave. When this is done, the new Master will usually ask the slave the following three questions:Avoid lifting or carrying anything heavy. Also avoid strenuous activity, like running, or other high-impact movement. Yes, I was coming to the comments to say Google “day collar”. It’s a category of collars designed specifically for subtlety and every day wearability. There are several for sale on etsy and other places.